This isn’t a manifesto. This is a survival guide to keep you alive and sane when you begin doing research.
1. Is the problem real, or is it a philosophical gas leak? If you can't point to a concrete tension between model and data, or at least a juicy contradiction between ideas, then what the hell are you even doing here? If it's just "people still debate this," tell them to debate it without you. Get out.
Beware the classic trap: "You won't see the problem until you've spent five years studying it." If a problem is real, its essence can be grasped with a clear explanation. If they can't give you one, you're not in a lab. You're in a cult.
2. Is it worth your time, your blood, your grey matter? Suppose the problem is real. Okay, fine. But is it worth it? Or is it just another equation for n=4 after someone's already done n=3, n=2, and n=1 until the damn thing dies of boredom? If you’re not fired up by it, walk.
3. Is the method rooted in logic or just someone’s lunacy? I’ve seen researchers cling to speculative nonsense like it's their last toilet paper roll. If the methodology doesn’t align with data, logic, or at least some decent physical reasoning, you are not doing science. You’re ghost hunting. Leave.
4. Is the environment run by grown-ups or petty tyrants? You could have the sexiest problem in the world, but if the lab is a psychological minefield—run by insecure egos, control freaks, or dead-eyed bureaucrats—you’ll be lucky to escape with your soul intact.
This ain’t complicated.
Honesty to the field. Honesty to yourself. Honesty to truth.
If someone is being vague and won’t admit it, it’s a red flag flapping in the wind over a burning building. If they can’t tell you the problem clearly, it’s because they don’t want you to know. Maybe they don’t know themselves. Either way: that’s your cue.
Science isn’t about obedience. It’s about seeing clearly. And sometimes that means walking out of a room full of PhDs because the air smells like bullshit and wasted potential.
Pack your curiosity. Trust your gut. And don’t let the bastards dull your hunger for the truth.